Talking with Youth about Suicide
If someone you know is thinking of suicide, talk to them about it. Refer to these guidelines for suggestions on what to say.
Guidelines for talking with someone who is suicidal
Ask:
- Are you thinking of killing yourself?
- Do you have a plan?
- Do you have the means to do it?
You will not make a person suicidal by asking these questions. Most likely, they will feel relieved you asked. Suicidal people are in pain and they want their pain to end but do not necessarily want to die.
Listen to what the person tells you. Remain calm and do not judge. Do not tell the person they should not feel the way they say they feel. Reassure the person they can get help for their problems and they are not "bad" or "stupid" because they are thinking about suicide.
Emphasize there are other ways to solve problems. Show the person how to break down their problems into more manageable pieces so they can deal with one problem at a time.
If the person implies they are thinking of suicide because of something you have done, they may be hoping to change your behaviour. Do not promise to do anything you cannot do or don’t want to do. You are not responsible for their actions. The person may be feeling desperate and, to them, this might be the only way they can express their unhappiness.
Do not agree to keep the person’s suicidal thoughts a secret. Helping someone who is suicidal can be very stressful. Get help. Talk to family and friends and have them share the responsibility of care.
Suggest the person see a doctor to discuss how they are feeling. It may help them to write down the answers to the above questions to show their doctor (thinking about suicide, making a plan and having the means). A doctor can also help the person access further care, if required.
Suggest the person see a counsellor (crisis centres in North America and online counselling). If they will not go for professional counselling, suggest they talk to a clergy member, a school counsellor or a teacher. Be persistent, although there may be a point when you need to accept they are unwilling to get help. If they are going to succeed, they must be personally committed to making changes
A Suicide Helpcard is available for quick reference. Contact us if you wish to request resources on suicide prevention or suicide bereavement or browse our resources online.