Getting Help for Yourself or Others
Sometimes, when we are facing problems ourselves or we have a friend who is troubled, the hardest thing to do is to ask or look for help. Even when the problem is really serious, such as having thoughts of suicide, you still may be reluctant to ask someone for help. In some cases, your friend may not seek help from anyone.
Adults, too, may not want to get help for their problems. For people of all ages, there may be real or imagined barriers to looking for help including the belief we can solve our problems by ourselves, thinking that nothing can help or no one will understand; and the stigma attached to mental illness and suicide.
Other issues that may prevent people from finding help include not knowing where to find the people or agencies in your community who may be able to assist you, and services that are either difficult to access or too costly.
If you feel like you are in immediate danger of harming yourself or
that a friend is at risk of suicide, please seek help right away.
Call 9-1-1 or your local emergency number for assistance.
Finding Help for Yourself
One of the first things you can do to help yourself if you have mental health issues or if you are feeling suicidal is to acknowledge to yourself you have a problem and you need the help and support of others. It may be difficult to do this but it is the first step in finding solutions to your problems other than suicide.
Another important part of helping yourself through difficult times is learning not to blame yourself. Being unwell, whether you have a physical or mental illness, is not a sign you are weak or a failure. However, looking and asking for help is a sign of strength and courage.
If you can not look for help on your own, ask someone else like your parents, a teacher, or a mental health professional to support and assist you in finding appropriate help. If you are thinking about suicide, do not ask your friends to keep your thoughts and/or plans a secret; instead ask for their help in getting further support and guidance from their parents or other adults who can access professional help.
When you are feeling down or suicidal, you need to take care of yourself. You need to try as much as possible to eat well, get enough sleep, and stay active. Do not use alcohol or drugs to cope with or avoid your problems.
Most of all, believe that your life can change for the better. It may take a few tries to find the right help and sometimes it may seem like things are getting worse instead of better but always remember people can and do recover from mental illness and thoughts of suicide.
Helping a Friend or Peer
Your friend may be trying to cope with her emotional problems by herself. Your teammate seems to be unhappy a lot of the time and he is keeping to himself more and more. When friends or peers are having trouble, you can be an important source of support to them.
Even though you can see your friend needs help, she may not be willing to accept your concern or offers of assistance. There may be a variety of reasons for this – the stigma attached to suicide and help-seeking for mental health issues may cause her to be embarrassed or ashamed by her thoughts or her illness.
One of the best things you can do to help your friend is to ask him directly if he is thinking about suicide. It can be difficult to do this – your friend might become angry with you and tell you to leave him alone. Or you might worry that by asking him if he is suicidal, it will make him think about suicide. This is a myth, when you ask someone if they are suicidal, you show you care and are concerned about them. Asking someone if they are suicidal can be an important first step in getting help as they now can acknowledge how they are feeling.
If your friend denies she is suicidal but your instincts tell you to be concerned, do not give up; you may have to ask more than once. If the answer to the question is yes, do not promise to keep your friend’s thoughts a secret. You must tell an adult so she can get the help she needs. You can do a lot to support your friend but if she needs professional therapy or medications, her parents and other caregivers must become involved.
There are other ways you can support your friend. It may be appropriate to accompany your friend to the counsellor’s office (but keep in mind you may not be allowed to be a part of the counselling session). Show your ongoing support by keeping in touch with her and expressing your belief in her recovery.