Myths and Facts
Separating fact from fiction may help you better understand a young person at risk of suicide.
Myth: Only "crazy" people think about suicide.
"This child doesn't seem to have a mental illness. I don't need to worry about suicide."
Fact: Suicidal thoughts and behaviours occur in people of all age groups and all walks of life. Many studies have shown that suicidal thoughts, feelings and behaviours are common among young people. A person might have suicidal thoughts when they are in a crisis and cannot see other alternatives. If you are worried about somebody, trust your instincts and do not dismiss suicide as a possibility.
Myth: Talking about suicide may give a child the idea.
"I'm concerned about this person but I don't want to talk about suicide. I'm scared if they haven't thought of it before, they will now."
Fact: Asking about suicide shows that you care. You will not make a person suicidal by talking about suicide. Most likely, they will feel relieved you asked. Suicidal people are in pain and they want their pain to end but do not necessarily want to die. Talking about suicide provides an accurate picture of how the person feels so they can get the help they need.
Myth: Most suicides occur with little or no warning.
"No one saw it coming. There was nothing anyone could do."
Fact: You can learn to see the warning signs. Youth who attempt suicide often have behaviours, personality characteristics or circumstances in their lives that are associated with suicide. The key is to notice these indicators and see them as a call for help.
Myth: Suicidal feelings are permanent.
"Once a person starts thinking about suicide, the thoughts never go away."
Fact: Thoughts and feelings of suicide are a temporary response to a situation that a person sees as unbearable. A metaphor for this feeling is the "bug in a cup." A young person, like the bug, may feel trapped and unable to escape from what seems an impossible situation. However, if the cup is turned over, the bug can escape. A counsellor or another person may be able to help a suicidal youth see their situation from other perspectives and teach them different ways of coping.
Myth: Suicidal youth only want attention.
"She doesn't mean it when she says she is thinking of suicide. She's only trying to get out of doing what she needs to do."
Fact: Threatening suicide is cause for concern, no matter what the motivation. Although some people are seeking attention or trying to manipulate by threatening suicide, all threats of suicide are cause for concern and require professional follow-up. At the very least, threatening suicide is a sign that more effective coping skills are needed.
Myth: Suicidal youth want to die.
"What can I do if he really wants to kill himself? There's no hope for him now.
Fact: Suicidal people are in pain and they want their pain to end but do not necessarily want to die. They may see suicide as a way to stop pain, not stop life. More often than not, death is not the goal of suicide. Often, they do not know how to make things better, or they do not have the energy to take the steps they need to get help.
Myth: A suicidal child will seek help.
"If she really is suicidal, she would tell her parents."
Fact: Young people are more likely to go to their peers for help, rather than their parents. The concern is that peers may not let an adult know a friend is suicidal. Adults should try to keep open the lines of communication, and encourage young people to go to others for outside help when needed.